Doubt: to lack confidence in
Doubt has caused me to miss out on many opportunities. Usually it is doubt in myself. It is what kept me from completing the A-Z Challenge in 2011 (I'll never come up with things to write; I'm not writing anything worth reading; What was I thinking?). I remember well because those thoughts are creeping in again.
When my brother died last June, I was renewed with energy to live my life to its fullest. To search out opportunities to better myself. My brother had lived life, really lived. He traveled around the world. He assisted a climb on Mt. Everest. He did not trek to the top, his role stopped at an earlier point, but he was there. He decided to bike in Tibet to enjoy the whole experience (until the constant gunfire from the regime change at the time encouraged him to travel by train). He rode his bike through New Zealand. He completed the Triple Bypass in Colorado*. His adventures were numerous. The only thing he never did was settle down and have a family. When I had my first child he told my Mom to tell me to not stop traveling, to continue my adventures with kids in tow. I doubted I could do that, so I didn't. I believe now that he doubted he could settle down and have a family, so he didn't.
So, I am working on overcoming my self doubt as I continue forward on this challenge!
*The Triple Bypass is a ride to or from Evergreen (Bergen Park) and Avon over three mountain passes. The ride is 120 miles from Evergreen (Bergen Park) to Avon over Juniper Pass (11,140 ft.), Loveland Pass (11,990 ft.), Swan Mountain and Vail Pass (10,560 ft.), with over 10,000 ft. of lung/leg challenging elevation gain!